If you’re too lazy (I kid… I kid…) to read the entire show or are having trouble deciphering it, here is a snyopsis of the show broken down by Act.
We learn that Anne Page is going to inherit 700 pounds on her 17th birthday making her a rich young lady. Falstaff is approached by Shallow and accused of poaching deer off of Mr. Page’s land, and Slender realizes that Pistol and Nym have made him drunk and he can’t remember what happened but he’s missing a gold chain. Evans and Shallow then get the idea that Slender should marry Anne Page. We also learn Falstaff is running out of money and wants to get rid of his followers and seduce the Merry Wives for their money. Finally we see Simple and Quickly trick Dr. Caius into thinking Evans is after Anne Page too and also meet Fenton for the first time.
The Merry Wives get identical letters from Falstaff which alerts them to his plan and decide to have a little revenge. Pistol and Nym also go after Mr. Ford to ignite his famous jealousy over his wife. This gives Ford the idea to approach Falstaff under the disguise of Brook, who he pretends has been unsuccessfully trying to seduce Mrs. Ford. Quickly lets Falstaff know that the Wives would like to see him at an appointed hour, which he agrees to. Finally, Dr. Caius has prepared for the duel and is getting angrier and angrier that the parson has not shown up.
Evans realizes the Host has played a trick on him and Caius by arranging for them to meet in the wrong places and is determined to play a trick back on the Host by stealing his horses. Back at the Garter Mr. Page decides Slender would be a good match for his daughter and he thinks Fenton is only after her money. Then the Merry Wives play their first trick on Falstaff, and this angers Ford too because he can’t prove Falstaff was at his house with his wife. Ford is made a fool of in front of everyone. Slender and Fenton have a showdown and Fenton is rebuked for pursuing Anne. At the end of the act Quickly comes to Falstaff and apologizes for the interruption with the Merry Wives and invites him to go again, which Falstaff in turn tells the disguised Ford about.
The Merry Wives play trick number two on Falstaff. When Mr. Ford arrives everyone again thinks he is crazy because he can’t find Falstaff or prove anything. The Merry Wives decide that enough is enough and tell their husbands what they have been doing, to much laughter. The group devises one last trick to play on Falstaff. Evans also has his revenge when the Host’s horses go missing from the Garter Inn. Mr. and Mrs. Page lay their plans for how their chosen suitor will run off with Anne, but Anne and Fenton lay their own plans to elope.
Everyone heads out to the woods for the last trick on Falstaff and Falstaff is humbled in front of the entire town. Mr. and Mrs. Page realize their plans for their daughter have failed and accept Fenton into the family. All is forgiven and happy ever after!